Mama I Missed The Plane
(Words and music: Joel Desmarais)

Capo 4

C F C G x2

C
The McCallister prepared for the Christmas
Am
Taking a trip to uncle Rob in Paris
C
I was bored as hell when they were packing
G
I kept bothering my mother and my other sibblings


I got in a fight with my brother buzz
And I spilled coke on my uncle Frank's crotch
My mom grounded me in front of my peers
That night I whished they would all just disappeared


The next morning they all overslepted
'Cause the power went down and the alarms reseted
So all my family left in a hurry
And in the rush they forgot me


At first I thought it was gonna be fun
Patricing shooting with Buzz's BB gun
Jumping on the bed and watching gangster's movies
I stoled Buzz's money to buy groceries

Am
But some things scared the crap outta me
G
Like the old man Marley, he killed his family
F
Or the old furnace in my own basement
G
But what's the worst thing that can happen?

C F C G x2

C
Well that worst thing came to be
Am
The Wet Bandits tried to rob me
C
Their names were Harry and Marv
G
They flooded the houses, that was their mark


They were stealing every houses in the neighborhood
I heard them by my home they were up to no good
When they got the fact that I was alone
On Christmas eve, they planned to rob my home


So I decided to defend my house
I put car toys on the floor and some trap for mouse
I heated the door knob and poor water on the steps
And many other things that can make a real mess


Then I waited for them with Buzz's BB gun
I shot Joe Pesci right in the bun
My plan worked out from A to Z
They falled in all my traps poor old Marv and Harry

Am
I called the police and ran across the street
G
Then the Wet Bandits took a real good beat
F
They were gonna make me really pay
G
But they were knocked with a shovel by old man Marley


CHORUS:
C
Mama I missed the plane
Am
But now the burglars are in pain
C
I set bobby traps all around the house
G
And I kicked their stupid asses
C
When you'll come home on Christmas morning
Am
You'll be happy to see
C
That I am not a child anymore
G
And I can take care of my own...
When I'm home alone

C F C G x2




Verse 2:
C
The next year we all did the same thing
Am
A trip to florida, we were all going
C
As usual Buzz was a jerk
G
He made fun of me at the church


So my mom grounded me again
And I whished to spend Christmas withtout them
But even though they still overslepted
This time at least they didn't forget


But something happenned at the airport
I followed the wrong dad and ended up in new york
Thank god I had his credit card
So renting a hotel wasn't so hard


I was having a blast while I was there
Chilling in Central Park or in Time Square
I even tipped Rob Schneider with gum
I went to Duncan's toy store, damn it was fun

Am
But who's that on the sidewalk I see?
G
Escaped from prison, it's Marv and Harry
F
To save my ass I ran like hell
G
And I came back to the hotel

C F C G x2

C
Then my problems got bigger
Am
When I bumped into Hector the hotel manager
C
He said my credit card was stolen
G
And that he called the police to have me taken


I managed to escaped with an awesome stunt
I went to see the pigeon lady with horrible bunt
She took me to the Carnegie Hall
That's when I realized I had to stop Harry and Marv


My uncle Rob had another house in town
So I went to put Booby traps all around
And When the wet bandits tried to rob to toy store
I took a picture of them to pissed them more


They followed me to my uncle's place
I threw a few bricks right in Marv face
They falled for everything once again
They rued the day they cross Kevin's land


Am
They got knocked down finally
G
By birdseeds and the pigeon lady
F
And at the Rockefeller plaza
G
I finally found my mama


Chorus 2:
Mama I missed the plane
But now the burglars are in pain
I set booby traps in uncle house in new york
And I kicked their stupid asses
When you'll come here on christmas morning
You'll be happy to see
That I'm not a child anymore
And I can take care of my own
When I'm home alone

C F G

Solo:
F G Am Am/G F G C x2

Chorus 1
Chorus 2 x2

(Novembre 2011)